easter, part one.

spending this Easter feeling a little extra grateful that i have the best news of all— we are FORGIVEN, MADE WHOLE, and MET BY LOVE! on the cross, at the empty grave, at the right hand of the Father, and every single place we may find ourselves in between. —

if you would’ve asked me what i thought this Easter might look like before i’d left home, i probably would’ve answered with something  really exciting. a party-filled day, spent with my sweet community. i probably would’ve said it would be in eswatini hahah.

oh how Jesus changes everything.

as i sit here now, in ecuador (!!!), i’ve barely left my bed this week, knocked out by the worst stomach bug i’ve ever had. thanking Jesus for completing a meal of plain noodles for the first time in four days. thanking Jesus for access to a doctor when i need it. for comfort in the midst of really only surviving when i feel like i should be thriving. the reality is that i haven’t had enough strength to spend this Holy Week with my squad or join them for an Easter brunch.

if you asked me now to describe how this Easter really turned out, i would just say “real.”

real life is happening here. im sick, life’s messy. i’m wrestling with heavy things, grieving things i’ve lost and will lose, preparing to go home, sitting in hard and holy things.

it’s real. not bad. because Jesus really does change everything. yes, i’m thankful for the joy that gets to be celebrated in the glory of His resurrection! yes, i love to party! yes, i will spend my whole life keeping vigil until the real party comes! but here and now, i’ve never been more thankful for the way that my God is present in my suffering. present to my real life, just as it is. just as present in the hard as He is in the holy, boldly combining and giving purpose to both.

this Easter is not what i imagined it to be, and still, he calls it “good.” “holy.” “purposeful.”

and in the last year (or maybe a few…) where the crucifixion might feel far more relatable to you than the resurrection, i’m willing to believe that He calls it these same things too. good. holy. purposeful.

and even when it feels like just the opposite, know that He’s present all the same. run to Him.

happy easter, my friends. thank you, Jesus.